Thursday, November 22, 2012

Design Star - Letting Go & Giving Thanks

Whew, so what’s with that heavy subject title, eh?!  J  Well, for those of you who know me, know I’m a ridiculous dreamer.  I believe anything can happen.  I’m one of those annoying *positive* people.  I’ve always felt something *big/great* would happen to me one day.  I grew up watching “Star Search” and dreaming of what it would be like to be one of those people.  I used to watch movies & would quickly memorize lines and became fascinated by the *world of television*.  So, having my own show on HGTV…um, are ya kiddin’ me?!…*design + TV*….SIGN ME UP!  At first I just toyed with the idea…then you all encouraged me and I realized, I’ve got nothing to lose, let’s do it! 

So, I checked everything out…there was a very long (I’m guessing around 15 pages) questionnaire to fill out, portfolio pics, headshot pics, and then there was the actual audition video submission.  As some of  you may know, we kinda like to have fun with videos around here…it’s something I’ve done since I was a kid…we’d make spoofs & music videos on camera…just have fun…now as adults we even make our friends do silly videos with us.  But an audition video…hmmm suddenly my palms got a little clammy.  Suddenly it was hard to just *be myself* haha!  So, there were about 5 takes of me saying my name then forgetting what I was going to talk about…then, I got through most everything I wanted to say in one take.  My husband asked me if I wanted to do it again…and I was totally good with it.  I felt like I made my point & it was good.   Had my hubby snap some images of me & I was good to go!  So, I stayed up late & submitted my video along with the giant questionnaire & required images.  

I got terribly excited because the next day I was contacted by the casting department thanking me for the submission & asking me to fix the link to my video as I accidentally set it to private on youtube & that they looked forward to reviewing it. (smack myself on the forehead moment)  When, you are hopeful for something a powerful analytical state can take over your mind…hmmm….did they like my answers to my questions?  Did they like my work?  Did they like my pics?...I mean they could have just been like “hey, if ya can’t submit a video properly, I don’t need to waste my time”.  But they didn’t, they let me know.  Did they see something in me?  Uh….who knows.

Then, weeks went by nothing.  I talked to Meg, (last season’s winner) and she told me her video callback took 3-4 weeks, that I should totally hold on to the dream.  Well, next week is week 4.  So, I’m pretty sure I didn’t make the cut.  But this was honestly already a great experience.  The questions I had to answer really made me think about things in a new way…helped me to analyze myself as a designer.  It was interesting & fun to work through that thought process.  When you wait for something you *want* that feels *meant to be* it really is a Willy Wonka moment…you become consumed by the hope/faith that you will be chosen!  Every phone call over the past week has awakened a lively spirit in me.  While it began from hopes of a callback, I’ve learned that maybe I should approach every phone call with that same teenage-like excitement…ya know – boyfriend calls & ya RUN to the phone as FAST as ya can.  So, now I’m looking at that a little differently.  Regardless if I’ve got a rep calling me, a client, or an evil telemarketer, I’ve now learned to put a little pep in my step when answering the phone! ;) 

A little piece of me wants to crash & throw a pitty party this week…but en lieu of Thanksgiving, I’ve realized that God holds the perfected plan to my life.  Sure I’ve communicated what I *want* to Him, but he *knows* what I *need* and what I can handle.  It’s time to let it go, and surender it all to God-it's all in his hands.  Be grateful for what the experience has taught me.  Should the phone ring & be THE call-I’ll be certain to fill ya in…but otherwise, I’m happy that I challenged myself.  I stepped out of my comfort zone & tried to make a dream happen.  If ya don’t try, it can’t happen.  So, I did my part.  I’m grateful for the wave of excitement & it was nice holding on to the hope for something BIG.  I always feel the need to challenge myself and grow both personally & professionally, so this was a step in that direction.   Wishing you & your family a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with love, surprises, and a rekindled zeal for answering the phone! ;)  Blessings~

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